“He who sees a need and waits to be asked for help is as unkind as if he had refused it.”
This thought sparked something for me that I think deserves to be reflected on in more depth. There are two sides to this. And either way we look at it, offering or allowing ourselves to receive help transports us all to a graceful place where we all win.
When we lean on each other, we always feel happier and more connected. Less isolated, depressed, helpless, greedy, empty. When we give whatever we can, we get plenty in return. And sometimes, giving means allowing others the opportunity to help us.
Whenever and wherever we can, it will serve us to think about or offer “how can I help?”. This immediately helps us to get out of our own heads and personal “problems” and see things from another’s point of view. It helps us to realize that perhaps we don’t have it so bad and we’re all in very much the same boat in life.
We’re really not so different and go through very similar challenges. We’re meant to depend on each other through all this, not figure it all out on our own.
From my own personal experience, the barrier to offering our help is often that we don’t feel good enough, or as though we have enough ourselves to offer in one way or another. This is simply never true. No matter our life circumstances, we all have innate gifts to give and share with others. Whether we realize it or not, every day of our lives, by simply being ourselves, we have plenty to give. It may simply be our presence or a listening ear. Give that. Give of yourself.
Trust that you are incredibly valuable in this life to the people around you. Know how loved you are and that you are more than enough, already.
On the flip side (interestingly), an unwillingness to accept or ask for help from others when we need it comes from a very similar place. We are often afraid to admit that we need it, that we can’t do it all alone, that we are having a hard time, that we are not perfect and don’t have it all figured out. This too comes from a place of not feeling enough, or that we need to prove our worthiness.
And just the same – we are by nature more than enough. We are perfect as we are, even though we need help sometimes (or often!) from the wonderful people around us. In fact, it makes us even more whole and perfect when we admit this and allow ourselves to deeply need each other.
It is a gift to let others help us, just as we feel good when we help others. This is a beautiful thing about being human.
To more love, vulnerability, and generosity!