A wise friend and teacher of mine, a very intuitive person, recently told me – “you have many desires; it’s important that you learn to let go of whether or not they happen. If something is meant to come to you it will, if not, then it was never yours.”
Hmmm I thought. This is true. How do you know this about me? I think it would be hard to find someone who doesn’t have a lot of desires for their lives. But as a particularly driven, motivated type of person, with a thirst for creating a better world, there are obviously A LOT of things that I would like to see happen while I am alive. These would qualify as desires, definitely.
This got me thinking of just how crazy we can drive ourselves by holding on for dear life to what we want. It gives us tunnel vision. If such and such doesn’t happen today – if I don’t finish that project, get to the market, see that friend over coffee, make this delicious dinner, go for a walk/run, clean the house, prepare for tomorrow, finish reading that chapter in my book, and get 8 hours of sleep – well, it just isn’t going to be a good day.
The same goes for our lives in the grander scheme of things. If I don’t find the perfect mate, have children before the age of 35, land my dream job, live in that beautiful home I’ve envisioned, make so much money per year, make a name for myself, have this type of dog, travel to 40 different countries, do something meaningful – well, it just isn’t going to be a good life.
We’re in a mad rush it seems to do something, anything, to make us feel there is a reason for today, for our lives, for everything we’re doing.
What if there was a deeper wisdom and purpose underlying all of life, one that we can’t necessarily understand, but is for the greater good of all things, including us? Things unfold and happen in their own time regardless of our pushing or worrying, so what would happen if we stopped pushing or worrying? I think we’d find things lighten up and become easier, more effortless. Perhaps we’re even guided in the right direction – towards our higher purpose in this life.
I’m reminded of the garden and plant cycles when learning to wrap my head around this important lesson. Despite our best efforts, we cannot force a plant to bear fruit or a flower to bloom earlier than it is naturally ready to.
Strawberries come when they do, we patiently wait for the garden-fresh tomatoes each year, tulips arrive each Spring as does asparagus, the wild lilies are full of their effortless beauty when summer greets us again…
Each year, each season, these living things that are connected to the Earth’s natural rhythms and the Universe’s invisible energies, reliably come to life in their own time and share their abundance with us. Not to mention their wisdom.
We can do our part to allow this to happen, to not impede the natural unfolding, but we cannot rush these things. The perfection and beauty of life presents itself, always, in its own time. We play our role, but we ultimately have no control in the outcome. We have to trust. Everything in its own time.
It’s worth thinking about what we put ourselves through, what we gain, and also what we miss out on – by holding on so tightly, so mercilessly to these ideas we have about what our lives should look like.
What if these things aren’t meant for us in the end? What if there are incredible possibilities out there for us, that we couldn’t have possibly even dreamed up? What if we opened up to that, to the unknown? Or what if we didn’t?
You have many desires; it’s important that you learn to let go of whether or not they happen. If something is meant to come to you it will, if not, then it was never yours.
We can’t force a flower to bloom before it’s ready. If we try to, we are standing in the way of a natural process, and things will not occur as they’re meant to. They’ll be difficult. Effortlessness is the natural way of things. It’s us, our minds, our desires, who get in the way of this.
Let the garden of your life blossom and grow!
With so much love and big hugs,